I have found that I am constantly learning new things about being a mother. It is an ever changing job. As your child gets older, so many things change. In the beginning you find yourself concentrating so much on meeting their basic daily needs. Your life becomes making sure they take naps, are fed, and their diapers are dry. As they get older, things get a bit less black and white. Do I let her do that or not? Do I allow her to do that herself or help her? Do I stay firm with the decision I just made or do I cave? Is the decision I am about to make going to scar her for the rest of her life? Aaahhhh... the list can go on and on.
Here is a perfect example of one of my dilemmas. Osseo-Fairchild High School put on a production of the "Beauty and the Beast" this weekend. Many people told me I should bring Gracelyn to this play. I thought she might be a little young yet. So I struggled with whether or not I should bring her. I finally decided that if and when she couldn't sit any longer, we could just leave. I knew she would love the singing and the dancing and that might be enough to encourage her to sit and watch. I finally decided to tell her that mommy was going to take her to a "big girl" show. I told her that only big girls got to go to shows with their mommies. She was very excited and kept telling her daddy that ONLY "big girls" got to go.
We show up at the school all ready to go to the show and find out that the show is completely sold out. I never thought about getting tickets ahead of time! I felt horrible! I had totally built the whole thing up and now we couldn't even go! Thank goodness I learned this lesson when she is only 22 months old! She didn't even let it bother her. I told her we would go home and do something else special. She was fine with that! Her daddy told her that they could make strawberry shakes together and she was in heaven! So I learned that I should buy tickets ahead of time before I tell my child we are going to do something! At four, Gracelyn might not have been able to brush it off like she did today.
As the due date of my brother's baby girl gets closer, I would be lying if I didn't say I was thinking about having another baby. I see little babies all around town and it makes me want to get pregnant again. But, then there is the responsible part of me that says now is really not the time. Financially, it is much more responsible to wait another year to try to get pregnant. Also, I want to be in a home where there is enough room for four of us. Our duplex is really not big enough for another baby. We also might be moving to Eau Claire in the next few months. I know that now is just not the time to bring another baby into the fold. Gracelyn must agree. She LOVES babies. Loves them! If we see a baby at a restaurant she will say, "My go see baby" over and over until I take her over to go see the baby that we don't know. We probably freak a few people out, but most people think her interest in babies is cute. So the other day we were chatting and I asked her a few questions. I thought I knew what her answers would be. I was wrong!
Me: Gracelyn, do you want a brother?
G: No
Me: Do you want a sister?
G: No
Me: Do you want mommy to have a baby?
G: No, You are my mommy!
Now, you might look at this convo and say, "yeah this might be a reason why she does need a sibling". And don't worry we will try to give her a sibling eventually. But it actually made me feel better. Even though she LOVES babies, she obviously understood that she wasn't quite ready to share mommy and daddy. Eventually she will have to, but not yet...
I think there are advantages and disadvantages to having your kids spaced apart or vise versa. Clearly there is no right or wrong answer. It is such an individual decision that each family makes. For us, we are in a situation where space makes most sense. I also am familiar with space, since my siblings and I are spaced 5 years apart. Ben is familiar with not much space at all! He is exactly one year younger than his older brother and a little more than a year older than the next in line! Families are such a gift no matter the space! I am feeling the baby ich and eventually it will get scratched...right now I am just enjoying my almost 2 year old!
Below you will find a picture of Gracelyn and I all ready to go to the "big girl" show. Below that you will find pictures of what the real excitement was for the day - making a strawberry milkshake!